This is a theory another fan shared with me years ago. Not saying their name in case they don’t want it known; will edit this if they reach out to me and say they do.
When you look at Polaris in the very, very beginning, her storylines involved difficulty choosing between her father or the Xavier philosophy. She was also very outspoken, very much a feminist icon for her time.
Then, she abruptly changed. She entered into a romance with Havok and abruptly accepted abandoning mutant causes and being part of the X-Men in order to have a “civilian life” with Havok.
Here’s the theory: what if the basis for Polaris’ attraction to Havok and how she typically acts meek, submissive and lesser for his sake is actually an attitude that was forced on her by Professor X?
The decision for Polaris and Havok to leave the X-Men came immediately after the Krakoa battle, after Professor X conveniently had a new team at his beck and call. It was also after a previous second team died trying to rescue the original team. Professor X using his abilities to “convince” Lorna to give up on her calling could have been for her own safety.
Also consider, Lorna is Magneto’s daughter, and Havok is Cyclops’ brother. At that point in time, how could Professor X have expected Magneto or Cyclops to react if their respective relatives died?
Of course, Lorna and Havok kept getting roped back in despite Professor X’s efforts, because both of them have powers that can be highly useful to whoever controls them. This could be how and why both of them eventually got back into the fight; Prof X, realizing they would be fighting no matter what he did, opted to let them be on his side rather than keep getting controlled by villains.
If Professor X had altered Polaris and Havok’s minds in this fashion, it would also go a long way to explaining some very bizarre statements they’ve made, particularly in the 90s.
At one point, Havok makes the claim that Polaris is such a huge proponent of Xavier’s dream that she might even have more passion for it than Xavier himself. In many alternate universe comics (as well as when Sabretooth ‘hunts’ her before Malice possesses her), Polaris is depicted as crying for Alex to rescue her, or sacrificing herself and calling out Alex’s name in her last breath.
The obsession for Havok placed on Lorna was also such that when Havok was presumed killed (actually sent to the Mutant X universe), Lorna was sidelined to spend her time isolating herself in her apartment and smelling one of Havok’s old shirts all the time. She only broke out of this when Magneto recruited her to join him on Genosha… but even there, she kept flip-flopping between supporting her father, and acting against him under the excuse of “asking herself what Havok would do.” (Side note: the “what would Havok do” excuse was once again Claremont).
Then, when the Genoshan genocide took place, Lorna’s mental state got extremely convoluted. She was dealing with so much trauma, sussing it all out was a feat in itself. This was also a time when Lorna was depicted with her powers at their strongest, and her attitude at her most independent. Her feelings for Havok stuck, until he left her at the altar… at which point Polaris reacted MUCH more violently than one would expect from most people publicly humiliated on their wedding day.
Okay, now here’s the real fun part of this theory.
Polaris and Havok maintained that emotional distance right up until M-Day, when Lorna lost her powers. Almost immediately after her power loss, her and Havok started getting close again. This continued through Polaris getting repowered by Apocalypse; rather than having her powers back at full strength, Lorna needed to re-learn and re-build them, like therapy for a limb after surgery.
It’s conceivable, then, that Lorna had gotten so powerful pre-M-Day that her emotions couldn’t be easily manipulated by Professor X or past “programming” by him to make her go for Havok. Post-M-Day, though, her vulnerability could have kicked back in.
Once repowered and coming back with a huge flare after being cleared of the Pestilence influence, Lorna decided to go it alone for a while – rather than rush into Havok’s arms. However, the next time she’s seen, she does precisely that after Havok “rescues” her from an anti-Apocalypse cult…
… and Professor X is with them. Professor X is there for the exact moment they “get back together” to go into space. He joins them in that endeavor, and leaves them to it. In space, Lorna gets back in relationship with Havok. They return to Earth as a couple.
Then Avengers vs X-Men happens, and Professor X dies.
Shortly after that, what do you know? Polaris learns her origin story, has a major PTSD episode from it, and Havok decides to abandon her and join the Avengers. Not only that, but for Havok, in addition to abandoning Lorna, he shit-talks mutants and talks about how he doesn’t want to be called “the m-word” as a leader of that team.
And that’s all I’ve got right now. Remember, this is a theory, and as a theory it is not based in an absurd idea that Marvel somehow had a nearly 50 year long con game plan for this dynamic that nobody outside Marvel knows about. This is more like an in-universe theory that could explain so many strange happenings, akin to how suggesting Polaris’ mood being affected by how much power she exhibits can explain some really spotty characterization for her over her entire history.